Last week, we found out from a co-worker that her toddler, who is just 3 days older than Abby, knows all his ABCs and can count to 157. Approximately.

Hearing this inspired us to teach Abby something new this weekend. Something enriching. Something that would change her life for the better.

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If you don’t speak 2-year-old, here’s a translation. And the accompanying hand movement for her new trick is her version of the ASL sign for “ice.”

We took Abby to the Austin Zoo today. They have animals rescued from ill-equipped “roadside zoos” and from silly people who think they can keep a pet tiger—its full name is actually “Austin Zoo and Animal Sanctuary.” They also have animals like goats, sheep, and potbellied pigs. A weird zoo for a weird town.

The African lions were amazing. It felt like we could have reached out and touched them! I got a short movie of this one lion dude who kept pacing back and forth, back and forth in front of the cage opening while a zoo staff member scrubbed out the cage. I think he was hungry.

But then he stopped pacing, and I stopped filming because, well, a frickin’ LION was coming towards me and about to ROAR in my face. Put yourself in my shoes when you’re watching and try to decide if you would have flinched too, or if I’m just a scaredy cat.

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Still, I really wish I had kept filming. Because after he roared at us, he turned around, raised his tail, and shot a steady stream of LION PISS right at Erik!!! OMG. I almost died laughing. Yes, Erik was holding Abby at the time, and yes, she appeared to escape the lion piss. And Erik seemed pretty lucky too, with only a few splatters on his shorts, which he promptly changed when we got home.

Then we ran some errands later on, and we kept smelling something rank. It took probably too long for us to realize it was remnants of lion piss somewhere on Erik. Mmm.

Other parents will probably look at this and be like “So what?” But this is for the grandmas and the friends who don’t have kids.

Be sure to keep an ear out for the newest sound in her repertoire. We call it “Peacock.”

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